I can only describe this weekend just gone as one of the most important of me to get through . And I did, with flying colours I might add.
As usual I was gearing myself up towards it with agitation, nervousness and panic, this seems to be what I do now when I know something big is coming where I have no choice but to get on with it. I start worrying about all sorts of things before anything has even happened .. I never used to be like that, I used to love being with people, laughing, dancing, drinking .. Socialising .. Now its a daunting prospect and I am forever thinking 'I wish I didn't have to do this' .. 'What if I can't' .. 'What do I say' 'I have to find a way out of this' ...
These are all the stupid things I say and do to myself which makes me convince myself I am not ready to do things .. But this is so far from the truth .. I was able to do, I did do it .. And I loved it..
I am talking about a simple family party here !!! It was a special one as my son turned from a boy to a man, so it was important for me to be at my best, mind in order and feeling good .. but of course the start of the day I awoke with worry of what lay ahead of me, I was rushing around all day .. doing .. I don't know what !!! just rushing and panicking. It wasn't until a few hours before all hell broke loose that I sat down and said to myself .. 'Come on !!! What are you thinking..this is your family, your friends, people that love you that are coming together for your son's day, STOP thinking that everything will go bad .. STOP thinking that you will be scared .. STOP thinking all these bad thoughts .. JUST STOP!!!!
You WILL have fun and you WILL love every minute of it ... Once I had took the pressure of myself I was able to calm down and realise this is not my day, this is my son's day .. And boy will I make sure he has fun .. A personal thank you from me to him for all he has done for me.
You know what .. I did have fun .. I danced, I laughed, I sang, I drank and I socialised .. Just like I used to do and the night was a fantastic night, everyone had fun.
When I woke up the next morning (without a hangover, just t let you know ;-)) I thought .. I set myself up for things that are never likely to happen, I worry myself about things that don't need to be worried about ... All in All . I am my own worst enemy, I have to learn from this by trying to go along calmly with out panic, if things don't turn out well then its not the end of the world, some things I just cannot change and worrying, being scared of what is round the corner is just hurting me more.
Learning is something we will do all our lives, learning about ourselves and how to be kind to our selves is so important, just giving yourself a break from the stress and the thoughts that turn you into this nervous wreck .. Its about time I told them to LEAVE!!! I am taking my life back .. Good Luck To Me !!!!
As usual I was gearing myself up towards it with agitation, nervousness and panic, this seems to be what I do now when I know something big is coming where I have no choice but to get on with it. I start worrying about all sorts of things before anything has even happened .. I never used to be like that, I used to love being with people, laughing, dancing, drinking .. Socialising .. Now its a daunting prospect and I am forever thinking 'I wish I didn't have to do this' .. 'What if I can't' .. 'What do I say' 'I have to find a way out of this' ...
These are all the stupid things I say and do to myself which makes me convince myself I am not ready to do things .. But this is so far from the truth .. I was able to do, I did do it .. And I loved it..
I am talking about a simple family party here !!! It was a special one as my son turned from a boy to a man, so it was important for me to be at my best, mind in order and feeling good .. but of course the start of the day I awoke with worry of what lay ahead of me, I was rushing around all day .. doing .. I don't know what !!! just rushing and panicking. It wasn't until a few hours before all hell broke loose that I sat down and said to myself .. 'Come on !!! What are you thinking..this is your family, your friends, people that love you that are coming together for your son's day, STOP thinking that everything will go bad .. STOP thinking that you will be scared .. STOP thinking all these bad thoughts .. JUST STOP!!!!
You WILL have fun and you WILL love every minute of it ... Once I had took the pressure of myself I was able to calm down and realise this is not my day, this is my son's day .. And boy will I make sure he has fun .. A personal thank you from me to him for all he has done for me.
You know what .. I did have fun .. I danced, I laughed, I sang, I drank and I socialised .. Just like I used to do and the night was a fantastic night, everyone had fun.
When I woke up the next morning (without a hangover, just t let you know ;-)) I thought .. I set myself up for things that are never likely to happen, I worry myself about things that don't need to be worried about ... All in All . I am my own worst enemy, I have to learn from this by trying to go along calmly with out panic, if things don't turn out well then its not the end of the world, some things I just cannot change and worrying, being scared of what is round the corner is just hurting me more.
Learning is something we will do all our lives, learning about ourselves and how to be kind to our selves is so important, just giving yourself a break from the stress and the thoughts that turn you into this nervous wreck .. Its about time I told them to LEAVE!!! I am taking my life back .. Good Luck To Me !!!!
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