This is a poem I wrote when I was just coming to terms with my depression after a very disturbing, frightening and scary 2012.
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You are Not having me
The longest days the shortest nights
It’s hard to sleep when it’s the fight of my life My mind is rushing, my thoughts are extreme Where am I going and where have I been. I must get together but it so very hard I must try for my kids but I’ve fallen apart If I just take one step towards the light I know what will happen, ill fall into the night. What am I thinking and why is this me Where did it come from and where will it lead I pray to God to save me from this I feel myself falling into the abyss. I cry for no reason and the pain is so real It hurts so deeply and makes me so ill I’m trying to be positive and pull myself round Then the panic sets in and I’m flat on the ground. When did this start, what did I do wrong? It must be my fault, I held on for too long I thought I was coping with all that life gives But It’s got to the point I no longer want to live. What am I thinking, I don’t want to die I have two kids, the apple of my eye I want to fight ! you are not having me Things will get better you wait and see. BY TRACEY EATON |
Blind
The sun shines through a crack in the blinds
You'd think I'd be happy but I'm feeling so blind. Blind of the good, the love and the help I only see black this is what I've been dealt. I am so alone in a crowd of a thousand Nobody see's me, its easier for them not too. Who am I? I don't recognize me The negative thoughts will not set me free. The darkness I fear I have strangely got used too It's not what I want but the fight is too gruesome. I must realise there are many like me But I am so blind I just cannot see. BY TRACEY EATON |
What's It Like?"
What’s it like to have Depression, you say? It’s a life with no colors, just shades of gray. You think you have a bad life, not just a bad day. It’s the absence of hope, with no end in sight. The feeling stays with you both day and night. You wonder if you’ll ever be happy again. You feel alone, even with family and friends. You wake in the morning, and your nightmare begins. You say to yourself, “What’s the point? Depression wins.” You battle every day to fight Depression. You search for happiness like a personal obsession. It’s the gloomiest of days, the darkest of nights. You wonder if you’ll ever win this fight. You struggle to see beauty in everything you see. You question yourself, “Is happiness meant for me?” You think you’ll always feel like this, and never be well. The only thing you want is an escape from your personal Hell. You tell yourself, “Don’t ever give up! Don’t stop trying! This illness is temporary, there’s no sense in dying. You’ll get through this, just plow through it. Have Faith in yourself. You CAN do it!” BY TOM SMITH A friend and fellow sufferer Thank you so much Tom |
Did you see me?
Did you see me walking past
Did you see me walking fast Head hanging way down low Where am I going? I don't know. You can't see me the way I am You can't see me yet here I stand I'm Invisible or so it feels Something tells me I'm not real. My body is numb to the core My body is sweating from every pore My eyes do not belong to me This is not how I used to see. Did you see me running past Did you see me running fast I have a problem, have you not heard I cannot stop I'm way too scared. BY TRACEY EATON |