UPS AND DOWNS .. THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO BE !!!
Well I have had a strange few weeks, when I get like that I seem to stay away from here and try to keep my distance from Facebook and twitter ..
I have moments when I let myself get dragged away with the negativity and believe every things that its says .. then ill get a small break where I am able to say .. Oh Just Fuck Off .. (Sorry if some do not appreciate the swearing but when I swear . I mean it !!)
But then I am exhausted from it all, I was also quite devastated that I had gone 'down again' after having months of feeling great but I must admit I knew it was coming, it kinda of had to happen so I could realise that I could get through it.
It started with waking up feeling very low, I recognised those feelings and immediately went into panic mode, which of course is the worst thing to do, then I was anxious and agitated at the thought of what was to come, I let myself go through this for about 4days, 4 days of talking to myself, fighting with my thoughts and generally feeling like shit, then it suddenly dawned on me that I had done this before and got through it .. and how did I do that?? Well I retraced my steps of all I had achieved and fought for .. Surely I could do this again as I am in control .. I control my thoughts ... I control ME !!! With that in my mind and feeling rather positive and strong I said .. NO MORE .. IVE BEEN HERE ALREADY .. WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN .. Im just having a few days just like everyone else gets sometime, why am I blowing it out of control (I am able to do this very well :-) ) I need to be a bit kinder to myself and give myself a break, its not the end of the world .. I do have depression .. but I am recovering, I'm not there yet and I am still learning the ups and down of it all but I got myself out of this down quite quickly and it was NO WAY near as bad as the last down was .. So what have I learnt ?? To still be proud of who I am, continue with my counseling, take my tablets, be kind to myself and live my life day by day .. Just like more than half of the worlds population and I am not alone, things will come and go, shit will happen just because it always does and it always come out of the blue, what will I do, well I will try to fix the things I can and the things I cannot .. Well, there is nothing I can do about that, try not to worry too much, especially about the little things.
One thing I have realised is that all the things I thought were important .. well they turned out not to be .. Family, Friends, Love, Happiness, Health and Understanding is all we need and I am lucky enough to say that I have all that.
Well guys there are ups and downs as I'm sure you well know, we all have them .. everyone .. Just try to stay focused and do whatever you can to find some positivity, be kind to yourself and above you BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE .. BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL IN EVERY WAY AND THE WORLD NEEDS US TO PASS ON OUR EXPERIENCES TO HELP OTHERS ..
Well I have had a strange few weeks, when I get like that I seem to stay away from here and try to keep my distance from Facebook and twitter ..
I have moments when I let myself get dragged away with the negativity and believe every things that its says .. then ill get a small break where I am able to say .. Oh Just Fuck Off .. (Sorry if some do not appreciate the swearing but when I swear . I mean it !!)
But then I am exhausted from it all, I was also quite devastated that I had gone 'down again' after having months of feeling great but I must admit I knew it was coming, it kinda of had to happen so I could realise that I could get through it.
It started with waking up feeling very low, I recognised those feelings and immediately went into panic mode, which of course is the worst thing to do, then I was anxious and agitated at the thought of what was to come, I let myself go through this for about 4days, 4 days of talking to myself, fighting with my thoughts and generally feeling like shit, then it suddenly dawned on me that I had done this before and got through it .. and how did I do that?? Well I retraced my steps of all I had achieved and fought for .. Surely I could do this again as I am in control .. I control my thoughts ... I control ME !!! With that in my mind and feeling rather positive and strong I said .. NO MORE .. IVE BEEN HERE ALREADY .. WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN .. Im just having a few days just like everyone else gets sometime, why am I blowing it out of control (I am able to do this very well :-) ) I need to be a bit kinder to myself and give myself a break, its not the end of the world .. I do have depression .. but I am recovering, I'm not there yet and I am still learning the ups and down of it all but I got myself out of this down quite quickly and it was NO WAY near as bad as the last down was .. So what have I learnt ?? To still be proud of who I am, continue with my counseling, take my tablets, be kind to myself and live my life day by day .. Just like more than half of the worlds population and I am not alone, things will come and go, shit will happen just because it always does and it always come out of the blue, what will I do, well I will try to fix the things I can and the things I cannot .. Well, there is nothing I can do about that, try not to worry too much, especially about the little things.
One thing I have realised is that all the things I thought were important .. well they turned out not to be .. Family, Friends, Love, Happiness, Health and Understanding is all we need and I am lucky enough to say that I have all that.
Well guys there are ups and downs as I'm sure you well know, we all have them .. everyone .. Just try to stay focused and do whatever you can to find some positivity, be kind to yourself and above you BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE .. BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL IN EVERY WAY AND THE WORLD NEEDS US TO PASS ON OUR EXPERIENCES TO HELP OTHERS ..
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